Homesick Already?

sabbatical n. A leave of absence, often with pay, usually granted every seventh year, as to a college professor, for travel, research, or rest.
--American Heritage Dictionary, Second College Edition, 1986

During this past year, when I've told people that I'm taking time off, I've gotten a lot of blank stares and confused looks.

Clearly, my version of a sabbatical will not match the dictionary. I'm not a priest, nor a professor. I won't be paid. And I've already worked past the traditional seventh year of rest. But the heart of the definition does apply: during the break from my regularly scheduled life I plan to travel, learn, and rest.

Why do we both feel the need to take a sabbatical, and why now? The truth is, we're pretty happy with our work-a-day lives here in New Jersey. In my mind this isn't an escape.

Maybe it had something to do with my turning 40 in May (Dan's due for his own midlife crisis any day now). And the fact that some of the things on our life-lists couldn't be neatly fit into weekend or vacation time-slots. We are (relatively) young, and don't shoulder any major family responsibilities yet. It's a chance of a lifetime, and it made sense to just go for it!

But here's a confession that will likely incite eye-rolls from most of our family and friends: I've actually regretted deciding to take this trip.

Pretty dumb, right? Well, that's neuroses for you.

Perhaps it's natural to be conflicted about a big life change like this; many people would be uneasy about being away from work, home, family and friends for so many months. But leave it to me to take a little inner conflict and regret deciding to take a sabbatical at all.

While we can't all be as rational as Dan when it comes to traveling, I know I'd be downright crazy if I didn't quiet my doubts and just enjoy the ride.

The other day one of our friends lectured me on this very subject. He put it simply, and I thanked him for it: "Don't think so much. Just live! Just wake up and live."